Once upon a time, there was a worm who was victorious in defeating the evil Queen Pulsating, Bloated, Festering, Sweaty, Pus-filled, Malformed, Slug-for-a-Butt. Her lovely twin sister, Princess What's-Her-Name (our heroine) was crushed by an errant flying cow (launched by the unknowing Jim) and fell into a slime pool below where she was innocently standing. After removing said cow from atop said princess, Jim quickly re-inflated the squashed lady. Jim bared his enamored worm-hearts to the princess. The Texan worm did not resemble the prince her mother had told her stories about in any way, shape, or form. Therefore, she refused his love. After all, who ever heard of a princess falling in love with a worm? Frog, maybe…but not a warm.
Jim quickly composed love songs, showed off his physical prowess by lifting stuff that was so heavy he had to grunt, and drove his pocket rocket as fast as he could with the stereo turned way up. Jim did everything he could to woo her. Thoroughly impressed by his really way cool 'Annelid w/Attitude' bumper sticker, personal grooming habits, and Tiny Elvis collection (not to mention his hefty bank account), she decided that she should be in love with him after all. Suddenly, from out of nowhere (actually, from just behind a big rock really, really close to them), Psy-Crow swooped down with his jet pack and kidnapped the lovely aristocrat. As the only heir to the throne, her husband would become Monarch of the Galaxy! Ruler of the Universe! Master of All! King of Burgers! Eligible for deep discounts at "Czarware - Clothing for Monarchs" fashion emporiums! And Psy-Crow wants that crown for his own diminutive head. Jim has to stop them before they reach Lost Vegas system where they can get a quick, non-consenting wedding 24 hours a day. Jim blasts off on their trail, following them from planet to planet. Many of these worlds are summer homes of his worst enemies like Evil the Cat (let's face it, Heck gets too darn hot in August, even for Evil). Jim's not going alone this time. He's enlisted his pal Snott to help him chase down Psy-Crow and nab the woman of his dreams. |